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Issues that lead to divorce, including a long commute

Nov 16, 2021 | Divorce

reasons for divorce

You might recall some of the conversations that you and your spouse had when you were recently married and deciding where you wanted to settle to raise a family. Perhaps both of you loved the scenic views in West Virginia and, at the time, didn’t think it would be a big deal that one of you would be traveling two to four hours ’round trip to work each day. You may have known other married couples in similar situations who appeared to be handling it just fine.  

As years passed, you may have begun to realize that certain issues were taking a serious toll on your marriage, including the long work commute. After all, there are only so many hours in a day, and it’s difficult to have quality time together when one of you isn’t getting home until late in the evening and is leaving again for work before the sun comes up the next day.  

Data shows lengthy work commutes are often a primary issue in divorce 

When you got married, you no doubt expected your relationship to last a lifetime. You understood that most married couples encounter challenges in their relationships and work together to address any problem issues that might arise. You would not necessarily have known at the time how strenuous a lengthy work commute can be and the strain it can place on a marriage.  

Data shows that, when one or both spouses travel several hours ’round trip to work each day, they often wind up separating or filing for divorce. Perhaps you felt like the majority of responsibilities at home were falling upon your shoulders with little or no help from your spouse. Then again, maybe you were the one commuting and felt like your spouse didn’t appreciate the effort you were making to provide for your family.  

Other issues that intensify commuter stress and can cause marriage trouble 

If you or your spouse has spent years making a long commute to work every day, and you experience other problem issues in your marriage, it can place a strain on your relationship that you might determine is irreparable. The following list shows some of the most common issues that are key factors in divorce:  

  • One spouse feels like he or she is solely responsible for household and family obligations with little to no help from his or her partner.  
  • There’s lack of intimacy in a marriage, especially when the commuter-spouse is always exhausted by the time that he or she gets home.  
  • Spouses always seem to be arguing about money.  
  • One spouse feels jealous of the time the other spouse spends at work or with friends. 
  • Lack of time together creates distance between spouses with regard to personal interests and things they have in common. 

When you were newlyweds, you were, perhaps, willing to overlook each other’s personality flaws and differences of opinion. After years of being apart most of the time due to a long work commute, you and your spouse may have grown apart, an issue to which many West Virginia spouses in similar situations can relate.  

Determining a need for change to come to terms with marital problems 

If you feel like a long work commute is placing a strain on your marriage, you might broach the topic with your partner to see if he or she would be willing to change jobs or relocate closer to the workplace. For some couples, making such changes is all it takes to help restore their relationship. Others, however, determine there is more “wrong” with their marriage than there is “right.”  

Perhaps you can relate to those who feel like they’d rather move on in life without their spouse than remain in an unhappy marriage. Maybe you’ve determined that it’s not just the work commute that is causing problems.  

A strong support network can help people cope with divorce 

Chances are, you have a relative or close friend who has been through a similar experience. Confiding in someone you trust can provide the encouragement and support you need to adapt to major life changes, such as filing for divorce, especially if you have children.  

It’s also helpful to speak with someone who is well-versed in West Virginia divorce laws, particularly child custody and property division guidelines. It’s not easy to come to terms with an irreparable break-down in a marriage; however, when you know where to turn for outside support, it helps to make the whole situation a lot less stressful.